Neither option is better for everyone. Choosing your own roommate lets you match on sleep schedule, cleanliness and social habits before you commit. Going random is less work and can introduce you to someone you'd never have met, but you give up that control. If you choose your own, talk to a few people first and request each other through housing before the deadline.
It's one of the first big decisions you make after committing to a school, and it can feel like a lot. Here is how each option works, the honest pros and cons, and how to make the call.
How Each Option Works
Choosing Your Own Roommate
You find someone yourself, usually through your class Instagram page, a group chat or a roommate finder like MeetYourClass. Once you both agree, you each list the other as a requested roommate in your school's housing application. Most schools require the request to be mutual, so you both have to do it, usually by a set deadline.
Going Random
You fill out your school's housing questionnaire, which asks about things like sleep schedule, study habits and how tidy you are. The housing office then matches you with someone. Some schools use software for this and some do it by hand.
"Random" is a bit of a misnomer. At most schools it's really "matched by housing" based on your answers.
Pros and Cons
| Choosing your own | Going random | |
|---|---|---|
| Control | You know who you're living with before move-in | You find out from housing, often in the summer |
| Compatibility | You can check habits and personality first | Depends on how honest everyone is on the questionnaire |
| Effort | Takes time to search, message and decide | Fill out one form |
| Meeting new people | You may pick someone similar to you | Can introduce you to someone you'd never have met |
| Pressure | Can feel stressful if you can't find a match | No pressure to find someone |
| If it doesn't work out | Can be awkward to split up with someone you chose | Easier to treat it as luck of the draw |
When Choosing Your Own Makes Sense
- You have strong habits that matter to you, like going to bed early, needing a very clean room or not wanting guests over often
- You've already met someone online and you get along
- You're nervous about living with a stranger and want to remove that uncertainty
- Your school lets you request a roommate and the deadline hasn't passed
When Going Random Makes Sense
- You're easygoing about how you live and would rather spend your energy elsewhere
- You want to meet someone outside your usual circle
- You haven't found anyone you click with and don't want to force it
- You trust your school's questionnaire and plan to answer it honestly
What About Rooming With Your Best Friend?
It can work, but it's riskier than it sounds. Being great friends doesn't guarantee you'll be great roommates, and living together can strain the friendship. Many students find it easier to live with someone new and see their best friend all the time anyway. If you do room together, talk about habits and expectations the same way you would with anyone else.
How to Choose a Roommate Well
If you decide to pick your own, a little process goes a long way.
- Know your must-haves. Write down the two or three things that matter most, like sleep schedule, cleanliness or guests.
- Talk to more than one person. Message a few potential roommates instead of committing to the first person who replies.
- Ask real questions. Go beyond favorite shows. Our list of questions to ask potential roommates covers the ones that matter.
- Video call before you decide. You'll learn more in a 20 minute call than in a week of texting.
- Request each other through housing. Finding someone doesn't assign you a room. You both need to submit the request before your school's deadline.
- Set ground rules early. Once you're matched, fill out a roommate agreement together so you're on the same page from day one.
How to Get a Good Random Match
If you go random, the questionnaire is your only input, so take it seriously.
- Answer honestly, not the way you wish you lived. If you stay up until 2am, say so
- Use any free text box to mention what matters most to you
- Reach out to your roommate as soon as you get their name. A quick hello before move-in makes the first day much easier
- Plan who brings what, using a shared college packing list
What If It Doesn't Work Out?
Plenty of roommates who don't become best friends still live together just fine. Respect and communication matter more than having everything in common.
If things aren't working, talk to your roommate first. If that doesn't help, your RA can mediate. Most schools also have a room change process, often opening a few weeks into the semester. Our roommate conflict tips can help you work through the hard conversations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do random roommates usually work out?
Plenty do, and some become close friends. When random pairs struggle, it usually comes down to habits like sleep and cleanliness, which is why honest questionnaire answers matter.
Is it better to find your own roommate for freshman year?
It's better if you care a lot about specific habits or already know someone you'd live well with. If you're flexible, going random is a perfectly good choice.
How do I find a roommate before college?
Start with your class Instagram page, your class group chats and a roommate finder. On MeetYourClass you can filter your incoming class by major, interests and sleep schedule, then message people directly. It's free.
Can I change my mind after requesting a roommate?
Usually yes, before your school's deadline. Check your housing portal for the rules. After the deadline, changes are much harder, so decide carefully.
What should I do if my roommate doesn't request me back?
Most schools only honor mutual requests. Check in with them directly, and if it doesn't happen by the deadline, you'll usually be placed with a matched roommate instead.
